By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just googled if crying burns calories
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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