I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
