We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
