is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
