This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
