____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
"it" just moved
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
