So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
