Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
