At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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