when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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