The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
