Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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