It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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