Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
