yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
