Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
