remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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