He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
