just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
