and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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