i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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