I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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