people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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