I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
