So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
