watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
