Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
