Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
