Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize