? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
