Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
