Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
