just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
