Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
