best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Less talking, more tequila
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
