so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize