So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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