i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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