Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
