i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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