Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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