I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Are we still banned from the library?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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