Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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