Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
