Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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