she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Who did Billy Mays play for?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
handjob tips. give me some.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she peed on how many people?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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