i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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