My girlfriend figured out who you are.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
