There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize