moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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