I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
