do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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