he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I need water and some morals
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize