They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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