Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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