I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
