the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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