I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
