Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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