so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
