when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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