yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
