it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize