Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
