please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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